Untouchable Ignorance

Mixed Media (Acrylic, Collage, Pen, Modeling Paste, Barbed Wire)
Original Painting 18"x24" on Canvas 
 
              This piece serves as visual dedication to regression within my healing journey. More honestly, and shamefully, this is my starting point. This is who I am/was when I need to survive (or think I do). Hateful, arrogant, angry, and cruelly disconnected. Keeping myself in the only version of “safe” I had ever known. I had to choose to be brave enough to let go of my need to be strong, safe, and/or right. Only then did I start to notice what’s underneath it all. I’m scared; I’m hurt.
                I’m terrified actually. I am small and unsure sometimes, and I make myself as big as I can, lashing out at anyone who dares to get too close. I close myself off and I am untrue.
                It is all too easy to avoid what is inside. Deny it, shove it in a corner, never to be spat on again; Look at it with rage and disgust. However, I have found it a lonely life when you choose to abandon yourself to this untouchable ignorance, disguised as safety.
 
                The path to Self: Be curious! Not a control freak! Slow down, search for clarity and understanding within yourself, practice self-compassion even when it feels impossible! Let that curiosity show in your connection with those around you. (Original)